Redefine Reality
by FightingBehindENEMYLines
Summary: She's strong because she knows what it's like to be weak. She keeps her guard up because she knows what it's like to cry herself to sleep.
1. Chapter 1

**This is just a preview for a new story I'm working on. Tell me if you think I should continue or not. It will feature all mentioned in the story plus a few others. Memi Friendship and Niley Story. Review? (:**

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><p>It wasn't always like this. There was a time when she was happy regardless of whatever was happening. If she got the <em>Hannah<em> role she was happy, if not, that was okay too. Now, it was the complete opposite. She was never happy.

Miley sighed. She used to be one of Barbra Streisand's biggest fans. "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world"? Yeah, right. She's learned. She knows not to get her hopes up because everyone leaves eventually and no one stays forever. She got tired of it and just started to push people away. If they can't get close to her then they can't hurt her, right? That's why she hasn't talked to any of _them_ in months. Not Demi, not Nick, not Joe, none of them.

Does anybody know? The answer's no. I keep looking at these self-help books at the bookstores we go into, but my mom just stares and asks if I really think I'm that screwed up.

I don't _think_ I'm screwed up. I _know_ I'm screwed up. But I'm scared. I'm too scared to ask for help, because it will break my parents' hearts and thrust me into the unknown, which is a place where I don't want to go. I don't want to redefine reality. At least like this I know what to expect.


	2. I Know

**Hey! These first couple are going to be kind of short to help set the scene; they will get longer, I promise. Review it please (:**

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><p>I know. I know the smiles are fake. How do I know? Because a couple months ago I was the exact same way. Do I think she's cutting herself? No. Do I think she's anorexic or bulimic? No, not at this point. Do I think that her thinking is screwed up and she needs help? Yes. Do I think she's on the verge of doing something(s) that she'll regret? Yes.<p>

You might be asking yourself how I know this when I haven't talked to her in months. I know because she, Miley Ray, is my best friend. Just because we haven't really talked since I got out of treatment and I "reconnected" with Selena doesn't mean she still doesn't hold the title of best friend. Treatment. Selena. Yes, I'm Demi. It all makes sense now doesn't it? How I know about the fake smiles and forced laughs? Looking like you don't have a care in the world when in reality your world is crumbling beneath your feet? I've been there. And she's my best friend, like a sister really.

Friendship doesn't matter who has been there the longest, what matters is who never left. I know she hasn't left. She's just confused and needs help. I know. I understand. And that's why it's my job to help her.

You see, I know what's going through her head. I check up on her every once in a while. And the pictures I've seen, they aren't….right. Her eyes don't sparkle even though she tries really hard to make it look like they are. The video I watched, her laugh wasn't the same loud, obnoxious Miley laugh we all know and love. Her smile is forced, she isn't happy, but she's trying her best to hide it. Why? Because it's what she does. She's the rock of her family. Even when she doesn't need to be, she is. She feels like it's her fault her parents almost got divorced and, well even before that, she's carried her family's burdens and problems on her shoulders, without needing to. But that's who she is. Her concerts? The shout-outs about Nick? She's lost and heartbroken. She needs him to help her, like he always does, but she doesn't want to admit it. She thinks she's over him, or at least trying to convince herself she is. How do I know this? Therapy…and because I felt the same way about his brother, Joe. But she can't do this on her own.

She needs someone to help her, guide her. And I'm that person.


	3. I Know Too

**As I said, these first couple are pretty short. But the good news is, they will start getting longer very soon! (:**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story. It's very personal to me. Anyways, enjoy and tell me what you think! (:**

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><p>I know too. I know, but there's nothing I can do to help her. Why? Because of <em>her, <em>Delta. Delta's using me as a rebound boy after her broken engagement. Delta's using me to help make it big in the U.S. Delta's using me. And yet, I don't mind. I'm not quite sure exactly. Maybe it's because of everything _she's_ ever done to try and move on is rolled into one. Older? She had Justin. Australian? She had Liam. Delta? She's older and Australian. Everything she ever tried to hurt me with I can fling back at her. But I don't want to.

I see the hurt inside her eyes. I recognize it because it's the same I see when I look into the mirror, except hers is worse, much worse. I want to help, but she won't let me. I need to, because it's what I always do. I've seen her like this before, and she has got to break this cycle. It's hurting her. And I can't stand to see her hurt.

I know. I know but there's nothing I can do.


	4. The Beginning

**Hey. So you guys must think that I've fallen off the face of the planet. I was going to upload this a lot more this past summer, but my laptop crashed and it took forever to get it fixed. I'm really sorry about that. Anyways, like I promised, the chapters are getting longer now. Read it and let me know what you think. Love it? Hate it? Tell me. I'm a needy person who needs reviews haha XD**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>I shoved the cigarette close to my lips, taking a drag off of it. I try not to choke. I don't know how people do this stuff. It's nasty. "Then why am I doing it?" I ask myself quietly. And it's something even I don't know the answer to. I don't know why I'm upset. I don't know why I do anything anymore. I'm stupid. I'm ugly. I'm fat. I'm a bitch. I'm stupid. I'm ugly. I'm fat. I'm a bitch. I can see why everybody hates me, I hate me. If I can't even like myself how can others? Sometimes I wish it would just all end. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live. I glance down at my bikini. I gasp. "How long have I looked like this? I know I didn't look good, but I didn't think I looked this bad." Running inside, she dropped the cigarette on the ground, stomping it out, and slamming the door.<p>

She heads to the bathroom. She's never done this before but it can't be that hard. She opens the bathroom door and heads to the toilet. She kneels, sticks her finger down her throat, waiting until the small lunch she had earlier reshows itself. Satisfied, she gets up, brushes her teeth, washes her hands, and leaves.

She sits down on the bed with her head in her hands and starts to cry. There was a time when she was happy. Back before the death threats and the hate comments. Back before her and Nick broke up. Back before it all started. But that was a long time ago.

"It's time to make some changes," she says to herself. "If I can't be the best singer, dancer, actor, whatever. I know what I can be. The skinniest," she smirks. This will give me a way to change my body.

I flop down on the couch. Normally, I would call Demi, or Joe, or maybe even Nick. But I haven't talked to them in a long time. So I call Liam.

Yes, we're kind of together. He knows I don't love him but he's okay with that. And he's nice most of the time, so I like him. "Hey Liam? Wanna come over?" I ask into the phone. "Say like 20 minutes? Alright cool," I hang up as I go upstairs to get out of my bikini. I can barely stand to look at myself in this, I can't imagine what he would say.

But the doorbell rings before I can change. He's here earlier. Crap. I open the door. "Hey," I say, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Hi gorgeous," he says as he walks inside. He heads straight for the kitchen, grabbing some chips and a pop before sitting on the couch. Liam turns the TV on and we watch George Lopez.

About 20 minutes into the show and a bag of chips later, he turns to me. "I hope we don't have kids someday," he says.

"What? Why?" I ask, hurt.

"Because they'd be ugly and fat, like you," he says nonchalantly.

Ugly. Fat. Bitch. Stupid. The words burn into my mind. I try to blink the tears away, I can't let him see me like this. "Yeah, let's hope we won't," I say, trying to cover the pain.

I don't understand. How could someone say I'm gorgeous and pretty and then turn to me and tell me I'm ugly and fat? But it must be true, otherwise he wouldn't say it. We sit in silence for the rest of the show. He looks at his phone. "Hey babe I have to go. I'll text you later," he says, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

Finally, he's gone. I can break down now. Running upstairs to my room, I grab my secret journal.

I begin to write:

_She smiles with all she has left_

_Yet her tears are left undried_

_Though she has so much to say_

_She bottles it up inside._

_If you look past her broken eyes_

_To a shadow no one sees_

_A disguise so you won't recognize_

_That that girl is really me._


	5. Knock Knock

**Two updates in one day? That's pretty good for me! Anyways, here's the next chapter of Redefine Reality. Hope you like it. Oh, and the quotes used: some of them are mine, some I found, and some I found and edited a little. Do me a favor? At the bottom of the screen, hit that little button that says review. It'll make me really happy and don't we all want to make someone's day? (:**

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><p>Nick took a deep breath. Breathe in and out. In and out. In and out. He told himself before he finally got the courage to knock on the door. He hadn't been here in forever, it seemed. And it was true, he hadn't. They hadn't talked in a long time. He still kept up with her, gossip sites and through Demi, but she hadn't talked to her in a while either. Just do it, Nick. You can do this, he told himself.<p>

He knocked. "Coming!" he heard her yell.

"Hell—o", she gaped. "What are you doing here?" she asked coldly.

"I came to check on you," he answered honestly. "Are you okay Mi?" he asked, looking into her steel grey eyes.

"No. No. You can't say that. You can't be here. You don't care. You haven't talked to me in forever. No."

"Miley, I care-,"

"If I added up all the times you made me feel special, and multiplied it by a thousand, it wouldn't even come close to all the times you made me feel like shit," she spat.

Nick winced. He deserved that, it was true. He knew it, and she knew it too. "But Miley, answer my question. Are you okay?" he asked again, desperate to get through.

Always hold your head up high. Pretend that nothing's wrong. Close your eyes before you fall. If you can't see it, it's not there. Nothing, nothing is wrong. Asking is against the rules. Crying is against the rules. You're strong Miley, don't let him break you.

She repeated this to herself over and over before answering him.

"Do you know what it feels like to **hate** yourself? Do you know what it feels like to wish you were **dead**? Do you know what it feels like to hate your world? I _do_ and it's _eating me up inside._" She stared coldly. "Now answer my question. Why are you here?"

"Miley.."

"No. Don't use excuses. Don't ask why, it's just a breakdown. It happens all the time. So get out of my face –don't even try. You wanna help me? Then just let me cry.

Nick stares. It finally hit him.

ALL SHE WANTS TO BE IS BEAUTIFUL.

She's gorgeous, she's beautiful. She stares in the mirror and hates what she sees. She spends hours in the morning fixing her hair, putting on makeup and still hates her reflection. She exercises five hours a day, starves herself skinny, makes her throw up at night. She goes into depression, starts cutting herself, he can see the scars. He can tell she's thinking about spending thousands to go underneath the knife to change the beauty she already has. She's beautiful. Anyone can see it, except her. Why can't she just learn to love herself instead of putting herself through all this agony? She's never good enough for herself. Doesn't see what the point of her living is. Life is hopeless for her.

But he wants to change that.


	6. Calling in for Backup

**A/N: Well I'm doing pretty good, I think. Three new posts today? It's a miracle haha. If you haven't read the other stuff that I posted today, please do and tell me what you think. Hope you like this, but even if you don't, please review.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, etc, etc.**

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><p>"Miley," he asked her. "Can you answer me one question?"<p>

She sighs. "What?"

"Who are you, Mi? Deep down inside, who do you really think you are?" he asked, trying to keep eye contact. He knew this question wouldn't be easy for her.

"Who am I? I'm a daughter hiding my depression. I'm a big sister making a good impression. I'm your friend acting like I'm fine. I'm a teenager pushing her tears aside. I'm the girl sitting next to you. I'm the one asking you to care. I'm your best friend hoping that you'll be there," she let out quickly. It felt like she lost five pounds just from saying that.

"I care. I care Miley Ray, and I'm here. I know you're not fine and I promise, we are going to get you help," Nick told her before wrapping her into a big hug.

"Nick?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever just sat there & thought why? Why did God put me here? Why do people hate? Why my life turned out this way? Why do people want to kill themselves? Why do I want to kill myself? Why my life is falling apart? Why do people love you & then hate you? Why you care so much about what other people think? Why did I turn out the way I did? 'Cause I do, all the time." She whispered.

"Oh Mi. I'm gonna help you. I promise," he told her.

"That's just the thing, I don't think you can, Nick. I don't think anyone can. It's too late," she said softly while the tears streamed down her face.

Nick left shortly after. Getting into his car, he dialed Demi's number. He knew that they hadn't talked in a long time, but he figured that if anyone could help, it was her. God knows she'd been through so much. She had to have an idea of how to help Miley, she just had to.

"Hello?" she answered breathlessly.

"Demi, it's Nick," he said.

"Yeah, I kind of got that. Dork," she laughed. "So what's up?"

"Not much. Hey, what are your plans for the next couple days?" he asked. It would take more than a ten minute conversation to help Miley.

"Well I was planning on going back to Dallas for a few days and unwind, but something tells me I'm gonna need to stay here."

"Yeah, it's just that-"

"What's wrong with Miley?" Demi interrupted.

"What? How did you know it had to do with Miley?" Nick rubbed the back of his neck nervously. This certainly was an awkward conversation.

"Because I know you, Nick. And you never need help from anybody, especially with Miley. Always trying to be the hero, to save everything by yourself. So if you're asking me for help with something, I know it must be serious," she said bluntly.

"So…."

"So where do I need to be? C'mon Nick, fill me in. I need to know what's going on if I'm gonna help. And from the sound of your voice, you definitely need help and we are definitely in over our heads. At least for now, anyways."

"Can you meet me at the coffee shop? I'll explain everything."

"Promise?" she asked.

"Promise," he affirmed.

"Be there in ten," she said before hanging up.


	7. Coffee Meetings

**A/N: Hiya! Haha, here's another update. I think I'm getting my groove back with this story haha. Sorry this one's short, but the next chapter is gonna be big! Lots of stuff will happen and this was kind of a set up to that. I'll let you in on a secret: reviews make me very happy! So go ahead, make my day; I dare you. (:**

**Disclaimer: Nothing I own what is (my best at Yoda talk hehe)**

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><p>Demi sighed impatiently, running her fingers through her hair. He's late, she thought just as the bell above the door signaled a new customer. Nick marched in nervously.<p>

"You're late," Demi raised her eyebrows.

"You're early," Nick rubbed his neck anxiously.

"You said meet me in ten and I was here at ten. But let's not skirt the subject any longer. What's wrong with Miley?" she asked curtly. Demi didn't mean to be rude, but she was worried. Something was wrong and she didn't know what. She always did have a fear of the unknown.

"Miley? She ummm, well you see, umm, it's about, ummm, like, umm," he stuttered. Somehow, admitting something was wrong was harder than he thought it would be. Because saying it out loud made it a reality.

"Miley what, Nick? Just spit it out!" she cried exasperated.

"Miley hates herself," Nick said bluntly. "She doesn't eat, throws up, and I'm not certain, but I think that she's depressed and cutting herself." There, he finally said it.

"Oh no," Demi wailed. "Oh no, oh no, oh no! I knew it," she said before she burst into tears.

"You knew what?"

"I knew," she sobbed, "that something was wrong. I didn't know what but I knew. And I wasn't there to stop her," she cried. "Damn it! Don't you think she should have learned from me and my mistakes? God."

"Demi this isn't your fault," Nick tried to console her.

"She doesn't deserve this," Demi whispered. "She doesn't deserve to feel this pain. She's a good person, Nick! A good person! And yet she gets this thrown at her," she murmured.

"She's deeper than everyone thinks. She has secrets too," Nick muttered.


End file.
